My Darling Sophia Isabella
Saturday, June 23, 2012 at 9:00 a.m.
We woke up that beautiful Saturday morning, the last morning we would be "just you and me". As I rolled out of bed I felt...different. Two days prior, I had seen Dr. Martha for my scheduled stress test. For about an hr I was hooked up to a machine to monitor the Sophia's heart rate. I remember Rome talking to me and making me laugh so hard that I cried. When Dr. Martha came in to check up on me and see how much I was dilated, she told me that she was also going to "strip my membranes" and that she wouldn't be surprised if the baby was here by the weekend.
It took a while for that to really sink into my head. "By this weekend".
That night we went home, watched a movie, went to bed. The next morning was Friday. When I woke to use the bathroom, I realized that we were closer to meeting our baby girl when there was a bit of red on the toilet paper. So I called my boss to notify him that I thought it best if I sat this day out. So we enjoyed the rest of the day, anxious, knowing that we might meet our baby girl very soon.
Ill admit that I was a bit nervous to see who she would look like. Neither Rome or I have very strong features and by the looks of her 4D scan, she didn't look much like anyone.
So back to Saturday morning.
We went along our day making breakfast as we always do on Saturdays. I started making my oatmeal and coffee. I felt what I can only describe as either a little bit of mucous plug or discharge. Since my doctor predicted that the baby could be here by the weekend, I decided to take a shower and put on my makeup. So there I was sitting on the towel on the bed while putting on my makeup. I called my mom to describe to her what I was experiencing, but still no contractions. I was still unsure of what I was going through until I finally got up to put on my underwear...
All of the sudden, water began to stream down between my thighs.
Off to the Hospital
I shouted for Rome to come to my aid. I looked up at him and said, "Its Time!" I made my way to our closet and got myself ready in a summer dress. I took one last picture of myself, pregnant, and in our home before baby. I texted all the important people and called my mom so she could take care of the rest. We loaded ourselves into Rome's car (we already had the car seat installed and hospital bag packed) and began our 5 minute route to the hospital.
As we emerged from the car, the sun shined brightly in our faces. Every moment I couldn't help but think, "This is the last time sun will shine on my face before I am a mother", and "this is the last time I will get out the car before the baby arrives". When we entered the Maternity Ward doors, we checked in and 5 minutes later I was admitted, alone.
I walked into my hospital room and said, "so this is where it all happens". The nurse asked me to undress and put on their standard hospital robe. Once I was on the bed, the nurse asked me a series of questions regarding my living standards, possibility of financial hardships and abuse among other odd questions.
Once they hooked me up to a heart monitor and IV, they finally allowed Romeo into the room.
Labor and Delivery
I was relieved to find out that Dr. Martha just happened to be the physician on-call that day. She came in at about noon, clapping and cheering. She ordered the nurse to put my on pitocin about 2 hours before her arrival. She had asked me if I had started feeling the contractions yet, but I felt fine, no major pain at all. I thought it was going to be a breeze. But as soon as she walked out of the room to do her rounds, the contractions began. They gradually increased in intensity by the minute. I'm not even sure how long I kept up with the pain. It was excruciating. I vaguely remember asking if I was going to pass out from the pain. My mom was by my side for the most part which gave me motivation. She talked me through it, reminding me to breathe through the 30 seconds of pain each minute. I was trembling in pain, vision hazy. I very much wanted to not give into the epidural. That was my plan anyway. I figured if my mom could do it 4 times, I could do it too. And the reason I help out so long is partly because I didn't want to disappoint her. Finally, at 4 cm dilated, I gave in a requested the Epi. I honestly thought that by waving the flag I would be relieved of my pain quickly. However, it took 90 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive and prep me. He came in and had me sit cross-legged on the bed while leaning myself forward. The pain was so blinding that I did not think I could do this simple exercise. I pulled through while he pierced my skin with the syringe and injected me with the meds. Still, the relief was not immediate. I counted at least 3 more minutes of contractions before I started to feel a warm, tingly sensation in my legs. I was euphoric. Hours passed and visitors came and went. I remember the negative side effects of the epidural taking over (vomiting). But for the most part I slept to kill the time.
At about 6:15 p.m. the nurse and doctor came in to check on me. They announced that I was over 9 cm dilated and 100% effaced and that it was time to push. Just like that! I asked, "What, like, now?!" They said, yes maam! So the doctor scrubbed up and the nurses and interns came in to prep the tools and aid the doctor. Romeo, my mom, and Romeo;s mother were allowed in the room for the delivery. They raised the stirrups and placed my legs on them and asked me to hold on to the backs of my thighs. The nurse directed me to hold my chin to my chest and push as if I were going to the bathroom. My nurse and doctor both commended my pushing and updated my progress. I pushed for a few times and right before Sophia crowned, the doctor asked for her scaple and asked me if I could feel what she was doing. I said, " no but I can see it" because of the reflection though her protective lenses. She was in fact, giving me an epistiotomy. A couple more pushes and Sophia was out and in my arms. She was born on June 23, 2012 at 6:20 pm.
That was the single most happiest moment of my life. I finally was able to see her, out of my womb. A real, crying, beautiful baby girl with chocolate brown hair to spare. I know it sounds funny but I didn't really feel like a mother before she was born. Like, my pregnancy wasn't real up until the moment she exited the only world she ever knew into our world.
Post baby
I cried and cried in disbelief and happiness as I watched being cleaned off. I remember looking up and behind me to hear her very new voice as she cried a literal "wwahh, wahhh". It was beautiful.
When they were done cleaning her up, I got to nurse her; she needed practice, but did a good job considering. After I was done, the nurse was in a good mood since it was the end of her shift and decided to let the whole family in! There must have been at least 15 people in the room (usually 2 max). Sophia was passed around and pictures flashed. It was a blur.
A few minutes later, Sophia was whisked away for her postnatal examinations and care. Then I was alone in the room. Rome left to my maternity room in the next wing. I didnt realize how tired and drained I was from the day's events. I cant recall how much time had lapsed. Before I knew it, my new nurse changed my pads and put me into post maternity underwear. The effects of the epi still lingered, but I was slowly beginning to get feeling back. The nurse had me get up for the first time and sit in a very uncomfortable wheel chair. She rolled me to my new room where Rome and Giz were waiting for me.
Maternity Room
The nursery nurse came in and asked if I wanted to have Sophia spend the night with me in the room. Of course I said yes. Sophia was delivered to me in a clear rectangular bin, swaddled and beanied. She was absolutely beautiful. Im not just saying this because she is my daughter, but honestly, she was. Perfect pink lips and cheeks, beautiful eyebrows, long lashes, luscious hair that smelled like newborn baby. Gorgeous.
Rome left me and the baby for a short while to get us some food. Ive heard that when women give birth they are hunger monsters soon after. But I had no appetite. I just wanted to hold and look at my brand new baby girl. That night was by far the most tiring and memorable. Every little noise she made, I immediately looked to make sure she was ok. She even threw up once and it freaked me out. I also underestimated how fast the hours passed when breastfeeding a baby. All of the time I ever had to myself, I realized was gone. It hit me that I would be attached to my daughter like this for at least a year. It was bittersweet.
Breastfeeding in itself was another lesson and feat. I had a real hard time getting her to latch that first night. I didn't understand why because I didn't have too much trouble when I was allowed to feed her the first time. I cried and cried. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. The nurses put a lot of pressure on me to feed. Every time a new nurse came on board, they gave me different information, asked me a lot of questions, "how many minutes is she feeding?, She needs to feed for longer., No shes feeding for too long., etc". I seriously felt like lying just to please them.
We spent the next couple of days at the hospital because Sophia's temperature did not regulate itself and dropped a few degrees the first morning. I wanted nothing more than to take my baby home already.
The 2nd morning the doctor on call ok'd us for discharge that afternoon. I was both elated and terrified at the same time. I was stripped from sleep and soon from the help of the nurses on duty. This was is it. Rome, the Baby and I on our own.
As we were getting ready to leave, the nurse gave me a take home goody bag with diapers, shampoo, and other hospital goodies. Thats when I noticed that there was a four-pack of formula in the bag...except there was one missing. So I came to the conclusion that the first night I tried to feed her, the nurses already had fed her..formula even thought I specifically asked them not to. I was furious. All that stress and heartache they caused that night was something I just didnt need to deal with on top of everything else.
At about noon, we signed out discharge papers and waited to leave. Rome left to get the car while the candy striper came into to roll me and Sophia out on a wheel chair. Rome was there waiting. We looked at the carseat thinking that we would simply put Sophia in. Yeah, it was more difficult that we thought. I dont know why I didnt give it a 2nd thought about perhaps learning the correct way to put a baby into a carseat! Well we did the best we could and headed home (which luckily for us was only a couple of miles up the expressway).
